haven’t had one of those before, but i guess i have been drinking more than usual before i ran out of beans
so frustratingly hard to communicate understanding using words without it sounding like some kind of incoherent timecube shit
spoken and written language is so horribly bandwidth-limited and inadequate, you always have to find a least common denominator and express everything using familiar concepts, then hope for the right neurons to fire on the receiving end
it’s an unacceptable compromise
been thinking a little bit today about the way i enjoy art, specifically music.
what got me thinking is that sometimes i come across a work that just immediately draws all of my attention, and if i allow it to happen, brings me down into this trance-like state where it feels like the music itself transforms into a language that communicates with the innermost core of my being. and no matter how complex it is on a purely technical level, no matter how seemingly unpredictable the changes in time signature are, no matter how chaotic and noisy may sound in a normal state of consciousness, no matter whether it has lyrics or not, i just “get” it. the artist speaks to me through the language of music, expressing what the conscious mind cannot grasp, and i understand.
and it’s no coincidence that this only ever happens with music that often doesn’t really fit neatly into a genre; music that is very unique to the whoever made it. art, to me, is an expression of their vulnerable self deep within, not trying to conform or please. that’s why “art” that can be separated from the artist and does not go beyond the worldly and recognizable is meaningless to me. i may enjoy it on a more superficial level, but it doesn’t truly speak to me. it cannot evoke profound emotion without relying on the familiar. it cannot evoke that sense of transcending the confines of my own mind and body, the conscious and material world disappearing into a tiny, insignificant spark in the endless void of existence, leaving just me and the raw sincerity of another soul expanding into each other. experiences like that have been life-changing to me.
i swear i’m not doing drugs
fucking STONE AGE UIs i swear to god
managed to create two menu windows with a single button click, and due to the way menu windows work on x11, both tried to grab exclusive access to keyboard and mouse input, but neither of them would respond to it. only way out of that situation is switching to a different virtual console and either sending the XF86Ungrab key (because who has this mapped on their keyboard layout?) or killing the offending process.
what a shitshow
i run 0x0.st
let’s be friends?